Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Shadows On The Wall

SHADOWS ON THE WALL - Written by Carroll Bryant


Startled by the sounds of the streets
And the neon signs outside wake me up in the middle of the night
This ain't a good night to go to sleep
Drinking wine with you on my mind
This seems to happen all the time
Turn around and start to talk
Just to find out no one's there at all

Who are you talking to, all by yourself boy?
What are you going through?
Going through a little hell boy?
Who are you talking to, all by yourself boy?
What are you going through?
Going through a little hell boy?

Talking to shadows on the wall
Talking to shadows on the wall
Talking to ... shadows on the wall

Startled by horns that blow outside
Facing another long hard night
Light up a cigarette, trying hard to just forget
Everything there is about you
Even though I don't really want to
Turn around and start to talk
Just to find out no one's there at all

Who are you talking to, all by yourself boy?
What are you going through?
Going through a little hell boy?
Who are you talking to, all by yourself boy?
What are you going through?
Going through a little hell boy?

Talking to shadows on the wall
Talking to shadows on the wall
Talking to ... shadows on the wall


Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Carroll Bryant Talks About His Writing

For some odd reason, writing has been a force in my life that I haven't been able to control. Ever since my 18th birthday, this writing thing exploded like a nuclear bomb, and I haven't been able to shut it down.

It's one of those things that will never be explained. I will go to my grave wondering why. Why me? Why do I have this compulsion to write? Why do I hear music in my head?

About ninety percent of what you read on this blog has music to it. That music is stuck in my head. I can't get it out. If I live to be a thousand years old, I will never be able to record all the songs in my head. Sometimes I think I know how hoarders feel because in a way, I am hoarding my poetry. I have so many books and catalogs of my poetry / song lyrics that just sit there in the closet. I go through them days before going to the studio to record a new song simply to see if I stumble onto one that I have forgotten about, and think I would like to record next.

As for the stuff I put up on this blog, most of what you're reading is really old writing. In fact, while I have written probably over 1700 poems / lyrics, about 1000 to 1200 of them were written between the ages of 18 and 25. This is pretty much what you are reading on this blog right now.

The first few months when I started this blog, I posted some new stuff. However, I didn't get to post all of the new stuff because a lot of it I didn't keep any backups when I posted them on my Goodreads account, but I never thought that Goodreads would ever delete my account because I never violated any of their ToS rules. I was meaning to make copies, but I never had enough time to get around to it before I was unjustly banned from Goodreads. (Which is why I would never endorse that website for authors, or for anyone.) That and the fact that there are too many mean people on those book sites.

So when you are reading through my works that I have posted on this blog from 2013 through perhaps the next few years, you will know that what you are reading is what I wrote between the ages of 18 and 25.

Another thing I would like to note is; Not everything you read is actually something I have experienced or thought or felt. Not everything I write is about me and my life. A great deal of what I have written came from an observational position. One of my favorite things to do when I was younger was to go to a bar and observe people. If I saw a couple dancing romantically or snuggling in a corner somewhere, I would put some kind of story to it and later, write something about it. The same goes for when I saw a couple arguing. I would come up with a reason or story as to why they were arguing, and then later, write about it.

Some things came from what I may have read in the papers or books. Or perhaps saw something on the television that inspired a poem or song. Sometimes I would write about my friends. When they would confide in me about their feelings for a girl perhaps, then later I would write that into a poem or song. And sometimes, I just made stuff up to write about.

Another great source for my writing is dreams. I used to keep a pen and notebook next to my night stand where I slept and when I woke up, I would write my dreams down. Then later, I would turn most of that into poems and or songs. Sometimes, even into books.

I always saw the world as my muse. Not just one aspect of it, or certain people or events, but all of it. Everything that is out there in the world I consider my muse. Any possible thing or person could spark the creative juices inside of me. Even from politics and religion. And while some of my religious writings and political writings are some of what I feel or felt at that time, some of it is just coming from other people's perspective too. Like I said, I sit and observe and the world is my muse.

So while I understand that when you read my work you could easily be inclined to believe that what you are reading is something that comes from the depths of my soul, the chances are that in fact, it may not be as such. And this has been the curse of my writing. While many writers write from their perspective or beliefs, most of what I actually write isn't coming from me, my thoughts or perspective, but rather, from an observational position or quite simply, just something I came up with on the fly.

I think most impressive is, I only used about four or five typewriters to document most of my writing. About 70 percent of my writing was done on one electrical typewriter that my mother bought me one Christmas when I was about 23 years old. She also bought me a portable one when I was about 18. But with that electrical typewriter, I was able to document most of my writing much more quickly. Up until then, I would write them by hand in several notebooks and journals. Especially when I was in the navy. (I couldn't keep my portable typewriter on the ship. No room.)

But through each year, I found myself writing at least once a day, and sometimes, I would write three to four poems / songs a day and on a few occasions, I would write in upwards to about ten or more a day. And it never did stop. Just when I thought I had gotten everything out of my system, something new would eventually enter into my head and I just had to write it down.

So I hope you enjoy what you read. I thought it best to inform you that what you are reading is almost all of my young history of writing. For me, these poems are more like photographs of my life. But instead of pictures, I remember through the words in which I write. Everything you read here has a memory for me about where I was at the time I wrote it, and what was going on in my life during that time, and reminds me of all the people in my life during that time as well.

I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to come here and read a few. This is why I have captured them on this blog. For anyone and everyone to enjoy. I hope you get something from them, and I hope you will continue to keep coming here to read them. There are still so many more that I hope to eventually post on this blog, so stay tuned. We still have quite a ways to go before I am done.


Thanks again,

Carroll Absolom Bryant




Monday, January 27, 2014

Love Sensation

LOVE SENSATION - Written by Carroll Bryant


Do you know your calling? Was the question
You will not fail, she said

Trust in your feelings
Time is the answer
Materialistic things will not get in your way because

You are the chosen one
Prophet of the new generation
You are not the lonely one
Love sensation from above

Notice around you all the pain in the cities
Leader like David, she said

Lead the new direction
It's the same, but changed
The rest of the missing links will fall into place because

You are the chosen one
Prophet of the new generation
You are not the only one
Love sensation from above

It's the same angel as the last time
The one I count on to help me through it all
Guardian angel of my lifetime 
My call is calling
Keep on going in the present direction, she said

Suddenly I realize
The truth that hides within
The message enlighting
She dialed my number again
And she said

You are the chosen one
Prophet of the new generation
You are not the lonely one
Love sensation from above





Saturday, January 25, 2014

Mirror, Mirror

MIRROR, MIRROR - Written by Carroll Bryant


Heart beating strongly but beat after beat
I find myself just walking the streets
Where midnight fantasies take control
It gets so confusing
Lost with nowhere to go

The night time is my day
And I can't seem to find my way

Mirror, mirror on the wall
Who is foolish of them all?
Mirror, mirror, who is that guy?
Why does he smile when he wants to cry?

Smoke after smoke, and grin after grin
I find myself searching again, and again
For nothing substantial or much fortified
It's all circumstantial, prove it that I lied

The calling is just an excuse
Because I'm only one, not deuce 

Mirror, mirror on the wall
Who was the one that took a fall?
Mirror, mirror, it took so long to see
That I'm not crazy, I'm just me

Heart beating strongly but beat after beat
I find myself just walking the streets
Where midnight fantasies take control
It gets so confusing
Lost with nowhere to go

The ruins are real within me
Living my life so serene, like a dream

Mirror, mirror on the wall
Who is foolish of them all?
Mirror, mirror, who is that guy?
Why does he smile when he wants to cry?

Mirror, mirror on the wall
Who was the one that took a fall?
Mirror, mirror, it took so long to see
That I'm not crazy, I'm just me


Thursday, January 23, 2014

It's Driving Me

IT'S DRIVING ME - Written by Carroll Bryant


I don't want to look no more
I don't want to search to find
I've been patient long enough
It's driving me

I don't want to have to spend
The rest of my life
Looking for something
That just might not exist

I need a lover
I need a friend
I need to feel that feeling
And hope it doesn't end

I'm not asking for very much
Just the simple truth
Something to keep me going
To keep me in my youth

Don't you know it's driving me right out of my mind
Don't you know it's time for me for love is what I must find

Love must be the answer
Love must be the key
But I can't seem to find it
It can't seem to find me

I don't know what I'm doing wrong
But I can't do nothing right
I need the answers 
To why I'm lonely every night

Don't you know it's driving me right out of my mind
Don't you know it's time for me for love is what I must find
Don't you know it's driving me right out of my mind
Don't you know it's time for me for love is what I must find

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Lost

LOST - Written by Carroll Bryant


I got your letter today
And you were saying goodbye
I guess I don't have to say
How much it made me cry

And now I got a broken heart inside
Because without you girl, a part of me has died

And baby I'm lost - lost
Living without your love
I'm lost, I'm lost
And I found out I just can't go on
Because I'm lost, lost
But tell me, what can I do?
I'm just so lost without you

Nothing's been going right
I dream of you every night
Up always seems down
My head keeps spinning and spinning around

The light of love has been turned off
I thought I was winning, but I just found out that I lost

And I'm lost, lost
Living without your love
I'm lost, I'm lost
And I found out I just can't go on
Because I'm lost, lost
But tell me what can I do?
I'm just so lost without you

I keep wanting to tell you
That love is worth the cost
But how can I sell you
On a feeling that leaves me feeling so lost

I got your letter today
And you were saying goodbye
I guess I don't have to say
How much it made me cry

And now I got a broken heart inside
Because without you girl, a part of me has died

And baby I'm lost - lost
Living without your love
I'm lost, I'm lost
And I found out I just can't go on
Because I'm lost, lost
But tell me, what can I do?
I'm just so lost without you



Sunday, January 19, 2014

Repair The Damage

REPAIR THE DAMAGE - Written by Carroll Bryant


It was a blow
It put me in a hole, baby
It drained the love out of me

What a show
What do I do, baby?
It just might hurt for eternity

My head keeps spinning around and around
You rubbed the salt in my wound
Now I think I know your style
You kick them when they're down

Oh, I got to repair the damage done to my heart
Oh, I got to repair the damage
It's torn apart

It was a flash
It blinded me madly
It made a fool out of me

Out of gas
What can I say, baby?
It just might be something I don't need

Oh, I got to repair the damage done to my heart
Oh, I got to repair the damage
It's torn apart

When I first met you 
you seemed so sweet
Boy, times sure have changed

You took the love that I had to offer
And threw it back into my face

Oh, I know the damage is done
But I can't let it get to my soul
And I know I'm not the only one

I got to let you go

It was a blow
It put me in a hole, baby
It drained the love out of me

What a show
What do I do, baby?
It just might hurt for eternity

Oh, I got to repair the damage done to my heart
Oh, I got to repair the damage
It's torn apart


Friday, January 17, 2014

Roll That Stone Away

ROLL THAT STONE AWAY - Written by Carroll Bryant


Searching the back streets hot on the trail
Looking for that special feeling
Sensitive emotions are hotter than hell
Looking for that special feeling

You found the answer, but forgot the question
It's got you cornered, and you can't run away

Roll that stone away
Loosen the man, and let him go
Roll, roll, roll that stone away
Loosen the man, let him go

You got a notion, but can't stop the yearning
Looking for that special feeling
You want to teach it as you continue learning
Looking for that special feeling

You have the wisdom, but still need the power
You had the strength, now you lost it

Roll that stone away
Loosen the man, and let him go
Roll, roll, roll that stone away
Loosen the man, let him go

You found the answer, but forgot the question
It's got you cornered, and you can't run away
You have the wisdom, but still need the power
You had the strength, now you lost it

Roll that stone away
Loosen the man, and let him go
Roll, roll, roll that stone away
Loosen the man, let him go




Wednesday, January 15, 2014

The People Nobody Wants

THE PEOPLE NOBODY WANTS - Written by Carroll Bryant


They're juveniles, punks, hoods
Trash of the streets
They don't care
They don't need nobody

They're tough, rough, they can handle themselves
In any situation
They need love
They need somebody

They're young, old, sometimes in between
It doesn't really matter
Nothing goes right
They're hoping things get better

Not a thing to their name
So they just play the game
Play the game of life

They're the people nobody wants
They're the ones nobody needs
They're the people nobody loves
They're the ones with hearts that will bleed

They're poor, broke, with nothing to lose kind of thinking
Jail could be better, so they give it a try
They're dumb, uneducated, rather do a whole lot of drinking
The bottle is their home and they're home every night

They're killers, robbers, black market criminals
They take their shots, and they get shot too

Not a thing to their name
So they just play the game
Play the game of life

They're the people nobody wants
They're the ones nobody needs
They're the people nobody loves
They're the ones with hearts that will bleed

They walk the town
In shadows when the sun goes down
They look up at the stars at night 
With stars in their eyes
They don't realize that they can change the way
The way they are today
Effort is all it takes 
And a will that just can't break

They don't care
They don't need nobody
They need love
They need somebody

They're the people nobody wants
They're the ones nobody needs
They're the people nobody loves
They're the ones with hearts that will bleed





Monday, January 13, 2014

Attack Of Emotions (It's Killing Me)

ATTACK OF EMOTIONS (IT'S KILLING ME) - Written by Carroll Bryant


Where did you go last night
When I was here all alone
Don't get mad, and baby, let's not fight
Just because I want you to stay at home

Give me time to adjust because I'm not questioning the trust
I can't help it, the way I feel
Just believe me girl, my love is for real

I want you to be happy
I want you to be what you want to be
But it's killing me
Yes, it's killing me

Second thoughts pop into my mind
Of backing out of this love
But I keep thinking of you all of the time
Yeah, you're all that I'm thinking of

Don't get angry with my jealousy 
It shows you where I'm coming from
I know it's not you, it's just me
I'm afraid of not being your number one

I want you to be happy
I want you to be what you want to be
But it's killing me
Yes, it's killing me

Possessive of you is what I am
And I know I put it all on myself
You know I'm doing the best I can
But for now it's a living hell

Just don't you worry
Someday it will change
It's just an attack of emotions
Just let me work it out inside of my brain
Give me time to swim from out of this ocean
And all of this commotion 

Still I wonder where it is you go
While I'm here all alone

I want you to be happy
I want you to be what you want to be
But it's killing me
Yes, it's killing me



Saturday, January 11, 2014

Night Time In Reality

NIGHT TIME IN REALITY - Written by Carroll Bryant
 
 
You wish upon a falling star
A fantasy inside your head
When you open up your eyes
You're still here instead
 
It's night time in reality
Daylight and sunshine is just a dream
You're still running around in circles
Running away from everyone you see
 
Where to now?
Got nowhere to go
Who somehow?
There's no one to talk to
If the dreaming ways are through
Where can you go from here?
 
Realizing you're life's ambition
Caught behind the walls of fate
Living by that superstition
You're going to make it or break
 
People around you are talking
Pointing the finger, and they have the right
So maybe you should start walking
Start walking tonight
 
It's night time in reality
Daylight and sunshine is just a dream
You're still running around in circles
Running away from everyone you see
 
Where to now?
Got nowhere to go
 
Who somehow?
There's no one to talk to
 
If the dreaming ways are through
Where will you go from here?


Friday, January 10, 2014

Children Of The World

CHILDREN OF THE WORLD - Written by Carroll Bryant


The heat is sweeping down across this great big land
And in the middle of the midnight is a boy and his girlfriend
Sweating from the flames of the fire that they make
Together in the backseat is a chance that they take

The radio is blasting, but they can't hear a sound
With passion that is rising as it never touches ground
Soaring ever higher, and leaving not a trace
Caught up in the frenzy, satisfaction on their face

We are the children of the world
Moving through our time
We are the children of the world
Stepping out of line, we are
We are the children of the world

Heartbreaks by the dozen is a part of growing up
And such could be the pleasure of a ladies loving cup
Living in the eighties might not be the greatest thing
But never can we ever tell what the future's gonna bring

Fighting with your parents gets more crazy everyday
When will they learn that it is our world of today?
They're laying out these rules they expect us to obey
No use in explaining, they don't listen to what we say

We are the children of the world
Moving through our time
We are the children of the world
Stepping out of line, we are
We are the children of the world

Nothing is forever, and to that we all sure know
Live life to the limit until it's time to go 
We are 

We are the children of the world
Moving through our time
We are the children of the world
Stepping out of line, we are
We are the children of the world




Thursday, January 9, 2014

Window On The Living Brain

WINDOW ON THE LIVING BRAIN - Written by Carroll Bryant


I am so confused
I feel like I am being used
So tell me if I'm right
Am I all alone at night with you?

I wish I had a window on the living brain
Then I would know exactly what you think of me
If I had a window on the living brain

I think that it is wrong
The way you keep me hanging on
We're like wanderers of the night
I don't think that I am right for you

I wish I had a window on the living brain
Then I would know exactly what you think of me
Then I would know how to start living again 
If I had a window on the living brain

Would I see my own memories?
In your thoughts they lay
I want a window on the living brain

I feel so knocked out
A new frontier or homeward bound
A chance to be on top
I want to keep on going and never stop for you

I wish I had a window on the living brain
Then I would know how many people were insane 
Then I would know exactly what you think of me
If I had a window on the living brain

Would I see your other memories? 


Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Pride

PRIDE - Written by Carroll Bryant


People asking questions
To try and find out why
Love has so many problems
Lovers say goodbye
There are no perfect answers
And no one can really say
I do the best I can to understand
But pride's the only thing

Pride
It comes from deep inside
It overrides 
Any feeling someone may feel
Pride
It breaks hearts inside
And after the love has died
Pride's the only thing that survives

You meet a wonderful woman
She changes your life
You fall madly in love with her
You want to make her your wife
But right before the big day
She starts to act strange
You can feel it in your soul
Something's about to change

Pride
It comes from deep inside
It overrides 
Any feeling someone may feel
Pride
It breaks hearts inside
And after the love has died
Pride's the only thing that survives

Forget about forever because no one really cares
Both has had enough so there's nothing left to share

It kills you when she leaves you standing there ... alone

People asking questions
To try and find out why
Love has so many problems
Lovers say goodbye
There are no perfect answers
And no one can really say
I do the best I can to understand
But pride's the only thing

Pride
It comes from deep inside
It overrides 
Any feeling someone may feel
Pride
It breaks hearts inside
And after the love has died
Pride's the only thing that survives

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Midnight Taboo

MIDNIGHT TABOO - Written by Carroll Bryant


Every minute since we had to depart
I felt the loneliness inside my heart
Some kind of burning from way deep within
I picture raw emotions beneath the skin

Is my mind playing tricks, and joking with me?
Or am I running wild with the wind?
Is there a vision that I can't see?
Or is love just the ultimate sin?

Falling in emotions with you
Color me a midnight taboo
Are you feeling it too?
Cover up the night 
Cover up the moon
Color me a midnight taboo

Nobody has ever made me feel this way
Are you in it for the fun and looking to play?
Some kind of signal going off in my brain
Am I completely normal or hopelessly insane?

Could it be my soul is flying too high?
I'm drowning in my own dark desire
Is there a reason for to reach for the sky?
Or is it that I enjoy walking in the fire?

Falling in emotions with you
Color me a midnight taboo
Are you feeling it too?
Cover up the night 
Cover up the moon
Color me a midnight taboo

There is something happening
Something I think that both of us could know
The moment is magical 
And we know that it shows

Can you see what is to be?
You and me

It's written on the face of our hearts

Ever since we had to depart
I felt the loneliness 
It is a loneliness

Falling in emotions with you
Color me a midnight taboo
Are you feeling it too?
Cover up the night 
Cover up the moon
Color me a midnight taboo


Saturday, January 4, 2014

Blast From The Past

BLAST FROM THE PAST - Written by Carroll Bryant


Ir's strange how you move me inside
Is there some kind of meaning?
When out of the blue, new feelings arrive
Hope that I'm not just dreaming

I carry a torch for you
Yes I do

Wicked sensation 
Only felt it once before
Premeditated love affair
And now I'm really sure
Love is going to last
Love is making me laugh
This feeling is so relaxed
Blast from the past

I'm delighted to see me in your eyes
Is there some kind of reason?
Daylight has dawned over dark lonely skies
Was it just a change of the season?

I carry a flame for you
It's true

Wicked sensation 
Only felt it once before
Premeditated love affair
And now I'm really sure
Love is going to last
Love is making me laugh
This feeling is so relaxed
Blast from the past

Have I told you lately that I love you?
Well, you got to know that I do
Know that it's true
And have I told you lately that I need you
I want to
Because I love you
Because I love you

It's strange how you move me inside
Is there some kind of meaning?
Please, let there be a great meaning!

Wicked sensation 
Only felt it once before
Premeditated love affair
And now I'm really sure
Love is going to last
Love is making me laugh
This feeling is so relaxed
Blast from the past


Friday, January 3, 2014

The Combat Zone

THE COMBAT ZONE - Written by Carroll Bryant


It was at night
When I thought I saw stars in the sky
It was fire works
From another unscheduled Fourth of July
I heard the sound of thunder
Death surrounding me on all sides
My friends were sitting there with me
With tears in their eyes
And the funny thing about it
I was gonna go home
But they said no
You're in a combat zone
A combat zone

The combat zone

It was a nightmare
Like nothing I had ever seen
Who could have imagined
That we could be so cruel and mean?
But it was happening
Here, now, right before my very eyes
In the darkness, I couldn't see past the light
And the funny thing about it
I was supposed to go home
But they said no
You're in a combat zone
A combat zone

The combat zone

And when the show was over
And our senseless fight was through
The people claimed in celebration
That it was a humanitarian thing to do
I can't buy this subscription
There was nothing there to prove
The people say we were the winners
But I believe ... both sides did lose

And the funny thing about it
I was gonna go home
But they said no
You're in a combat zone
A combat zone

The combat zone

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Jonathon Livingston Seagull

JONATHON LIVINGSTON SEAGULL - Written  by Carroll Bryant


I wish only to be
So happy, so daring, so free
Like Jonathon Livingston Seagull
Like Jonathon Livingston Seagull

I wish only to fly
In the day time, in the night time, in the sky
Like Jonathon Livingston Seagull
Like Jonathon Livingston Seagull

Like Jonathon, I dream of the conquests
Attempting until I succeed
While others laugh in rhythm 
As my soul bleeds

I wish only to hide
From love, from pain, from inside 
Like Jonathon Livingston Seagull
Like Jonathon Livingston Seagull

I wish only to reach
Beyond the normal, beyond the crazy, beyond the beach
Like Jonathon Livingston Seagull
Like Jonathon Livingston Seagull

Like Jonathon, my visions are endless
Attempting until I succeed
While others live only in moments
As my soul bleeds

Like Jonathon, I shed the limitations
Attempting until I succeed
While others satisfy their instincts
As my soul bleeds

I wish only to be
So happy, so daring, so free
Like Jonathon Livingston Seagull
Like Jonathon Livingston Seagull