For some odd reason, writing has been a force in my life that I haven't been able to control. Ever since my 18th birthday, this writing thing exploded like a nuclear bomb, and I haven't been able to shut it down.
It's one of those things that will never be explained. I will go to my grave wondering why. Why me? Why do I have this compulsion to write? Why do I hear music in my head?
About ninety percent of what you read on this blog has music to it. That music is stuck in my head. I can't get it out. If I live to be a thousand years old, I will never be able to record all the songs in my head. Sometimes I think I know how hoarders feel because in a way, I am hoarding my poetry. I have so many books and catalogs of my poetry / song lyrics that just sit there in the closet. I go through them days before going to the studio to record a new song simply to see if I stumble onto one that I have forgotten about, and think I would like to record next.
As for the stuff I put up on this blog, most of what you're reading is really old writing. In fact, while I have written probably over 1700 poems / lyrics, about 1000 to 1200 of them were written between the ages of 18 and 25. This is pretty much what you are reading on this blog right now.
The first few months when I started this blog, I posted some new stuff. However, I didn't get to post all of the new stuff because a lot of it I didn't keep any backups when I posted them on my Goodreads account, but I never thought that Goodreads would ever delete my account because I never violated any of their ToS rules. I was meaning to make copies, but I never had enough time to get around to it before I was unjustly banned from Goodreads. (Which is why I would never endorse that website for authors, or for anyone.) That and the fact that there are too many mean people on those book sites.
So when you are reading through my works that I have posted on this blog from 2013 through perhaps the next few years, you will know that what you are reading is what I wrote between the ages of 18 and 25.
Another thing I would like to note is; Not everything you read is actually something I have experienced or thought or felt. Not everything I write is about me and my life. A great deal of what I have written came from an observational position. One of my favorite things to do when I was younger was to go to a bar and observe people. If I saw a couple dancing romantically or snuggling in a corner somewhere, I would put some kind of story to it and later, write something about it. The same goes for when I saw a couple arguing. I would come up with a reason or story as to why they were arguing, and then later, write about it.
Some things came from what I may have read in the papers or books. Or perhaps saw something on the television that inspired a poem or song. Sometimes I would write about my friends. When they would confide in me about their feelings for a girl perhaps, then later I would write that into a poem or song. And sometimes, I just made stuff up to write about.
Another great source for my writing is dreams. I used to keep a pen and notebook next to my night stand where I slept and when I woke up, I would write my dreams down. Then later, I would turn most of that into poems and or songs. Sometimes, even into books.
I always saw the world as my muse. Not just one aspect of it, or certain people or events, but all of it. Everything that is out there in the world I consider my muse. Any possible thing or person could spark the creative juices inside of me. Even from politics and religion. And while some of my religious writings and political writings are some of what I feel or felt at that time, some of it is just coming from other people's perspective too. Like I said, I sit and observe and the world is my muse.
So while I understand that when you read my work you could easily be inclined to believe that what you are reading is something that comes from the depths of my soul, the chances are that in fact, it may not be as such. And this has been the curse of my writing. While many writers write from their perspective or beliefs, most of what I actually write isn't coming from me, my thoughts or perspective, but rather, from an observational position or quite simply, just something I came up with on the fly.
I think most impressive is, I only used about four or five typewriters to document most of my writing. About 70 percent of my writing was done on one electrical typewriter that my mother bought me one Christmas when I was about 23 years old. She also bought me a portable one when I was about 18. But with that electrical typewriter, I was able to document most of my writing much more quickly. Up until then, I would write them by hand in several notebooks and journals. Especially when I was in the navy. (I couldn't keep my portable typewriter on the ship. No room.)
But through each year, I found myself writing at least once a day, and sometimes, I would write three to four poems / songs a day and on a few occasions, I would write in upwards to about ten or more a day. And it never did stop. Just when I thought I had gotten everything out of my system, something new would eventually enter into my head and I just had to write it down.
So I hope you enjoy what you read. I thought it best to inform you that what you are reading is almost all of my young history of writing. For me, these poems are more like photographs of my life. But instead of pictures, I remember through the words in which I write. Everything you read here has a memory for me about where I was at the time I wrote it, and what was going on in my life during that time, and reminds me of all the people in my life during that time as well.
I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to come here and read a few. This is why I have captured them on this blog. For anyone and everyone to enjoy. I hope you get something from them, and I hope you will continue to keep coming here to read them. There are still so many more that I hope to eventually post on this blog, so stay tuned. We still have quite a ways to go before I am done.
Thanks again,
Carroll Absolom Bryant